the GOLD class...

you know what i mean. . . :)

Im so fucking going to throw a party in the year 2010!

e hunger pangs

i feel like puking. i feel so hungry.

Living love on a high strung note and loving leave where love is
It was never there not at all
when it comes with all that was hung came faith when dirt it would ever gonna be

I stay drunk with that was left through what could be you tell me with
wish it had nv worse than ever ever gonna live

fearful life

I need to stop living in fear...

I need to stop living in fear...
I need to stop living in fear...
I need to stop living in fear...
I need to stop living in fear...

fear...

my birthday cakes!!!!!!

- - - > >> My cakes on the Nite before.

Proudly sponsored by da fei po darling as well as my beloved trios.
What can you say abt someone who will nv let your birthday go cakeless ? lovelove
N somebodies who would choose such a 'biang' cake heart heart.



I wanted a durian cake! hmph! ! ! ... but i want my frens to love the cake Much Much MORE!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!
Birthday resolution is a MUST for me this year...
Reason being ---> > > I LOOK LIKE AN AUNTIE NOW COS IM SOOOOO FAT!!!

Look out for Fall 2006 Auntie cover.

Why do the plenty of lovesssss ard often managed to precipitate themselves into layers of floats attached to me???

August

Its August and its gorgeous.

I prob would have started.
and I prob would have started.

I prob would have started to tell you that ... you mean the world to me.
Really.

I thought of getting off work, i tot of you.
I thought of weekends, i tot of you.
I thought of New York, i tot of you.
I thought of mikko ageing, i tot of you.
I thought of all things great or small, i tot of you.

As we approach the lovely day when you were brought to this earth,
I want to tell you that, I thank all for bringing you here.

things just get better

I got my results today!
n i passed!
w grades to be proud of!
n the whole world knows!!! haahaahaahaa

Im such a big fat show off.
Well, you can say anything when you are the boss and the world is under your feet.

Hmmm...
actually, i couldnt emphasis enough.
I really appreciate the many times you
-chauffered me ard
-accompanied me
-woke up early with me
-doing everything and anything to make it easier for me
- always me me me ...

Without you, it would not be possible.

If passing that paper is something to be proud of, i need a new word for proud to tell the world how it is like to have you in my life.

Weekend Part 1

What a long weekend...

Action started on Friday.
We went to PS cafe for dinner... and wine. How atas is that.
The food was less than good, however, more than compensated by the ambience with a backdrop that is nothing less than a chic crowd. :)
Then its MJ!
Impromptu though, as i got the mobilisation alert only late into the night.
MJ...aka... Rival of my significant other is about my favourite game on earth.
So, what a shouting match it was going to be, if not for the generosity of a rare being who happens to treat me like her Precious.

Saturday started early... It was finally here... the Porsche test drive.
Getting out of bed was effortless... cos she said that she would be ANGRY if i were unable to wake up. ( scared shit)
Went all the way to Leng Kee, just to be faced with the cruel limitation of my youth... Dunno why, but it always work against me.
Anyway, they were nice enough to draft a brand new insurance to cover the lil me next sat! coool....

Fantastic Fireworks...
They were the only two lucky doggies there. I hope they know.
Mikko had a world class view on top of the car and i bet he was mesmerized. I held his lil paw while he watched on. Such joy doesnt come easy and I sure treasure it a great deal.
As for Memphis, that silly lili's attention had to be redirected back to the action many many times. Hmm.. I realise that, other than ME (excluding anything that he can eat), nothing else can get his attention. heehee...
My dogdogs need at least 12 hrs of sleep daily. I wish them dreams as beautiful as the fireworks we saw together.

national day fireworks

After raving so much abt it, and brought both mikko & memphis!!!!!!!!!! --- > > > I DIDNT MANAGE TO CATCH IT!!!!!!!!!!! ... k n n

Im going to try AGAIN this sat... with lots more planning!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well, yesterday sux big time.
1) i was having a massive headache n darlin didnt get me my coffee!!! - 1mmmmm pts
2) i went to get instead and didnt have enuff money!!! -1mmmmmmmmmm pts
3) rushed all the way to the east side and saw NO fireworks!!! - 1mmmmmmmmmmmmmpts

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But it could be worse. If not for UUU!!!
I really appreciate the trouble you go, just to bring me two darlins out... cos they sure did make yesterday a more bearable one. - +8mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmpts

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

zhu wo de ai ren sheng ri quai le ..keke

insecurity

rem...

I'm as single minded as my dogdogs.

cheers to 06

Im not really into blogging now.

I realise that I think faster than I type NOWadays and thus have a huge problem trying to put whatever that is going thru my lil brain into words.

keke


I will just write the things that i like doing now .. just for those kaypohs who are interested to know... anybody there???

AT WORK
1) Meetings with Harry Potter and Bach and we discuss 'the flat yield curve'
2) Lunch time --- >>>>> eat foods that almost moved me to tears

After work
1) coming home EARLY n patpat my two beautiful dogdogs
2) watch Singapore idol ---> not ashame to say...My skin is very thick
3) going SWIMMING --- > all thanks to who will watch her BB swim.



Im getting further and further away from the market ... stocks or 'stocks' ...keke.
Im engaging a new role .My job is to TALK. ***Take heed*** I will always remind myself*** that nothing sells better than personality***DOGsDOGs*** Im getting random again.

>>>>>>>>SYNTEX ERROR<<<<<<<<

I can only focus on my beloved flat yield curve.

cheers to 06

i love everything abt anything right now...

keke

my food reviews

being on the other side now certainly comes with many many perks... wat can be better than meeting new ple in nice places every other day and being the target of a buttering exercise...

Guess my only working hrs are spent in the gym and pool... to try shaking off those perks that can only be deposited as FATS...

Pierside Kitchen and Bar ---> fish-shaped salmon
Ember @ Hotel 1929 ---> nothing fantastic
Yoyogi ---> Good toro
Gari Baldi ---> nothing fantastic
*** Aoki *** ---> TO DIE FOR!!!

everything is new

Havent been updating for the longest time.
I have been so busy... with
- my new job
- my new exercise regime
- my new tvb dramas
- my new found passion for my dogdogs...
= I kept wanting to just stay at home.

Looking forward

to the wonderful trip i am going to have...

*gakgak*

nitemare

I had a blardy nitemare yest and it had successfully sucked energy from me...
I dun feel like doing anything except picking fights with FBB...

I prob need to find something different to do again ...
Then again, I am in the process of changing my job, trying to monitor my poor semi-not feeling well dogdog, furiously studying for the *&^#ing demanding exam ... and they are all not enuff to keep my hyperactive brain in check ...

GRRRRRRRR....... im so frustrated with myself... *@^#*#@^*@#&^*@#)%

its a wonder how FBB can stand in the path of a charging bull like me with confidence ...
some things are so beyond rocket science and im truly disturbed by my inability to understand...
cos things tat happened without reasons are castles built on sand, vulnerable and weak ...
its all gonna be replaced by proven theories, tried and tested , leaving wat happened a classical note, no longer worth playing.

I think im having PMS...!!!!!!!
GET AWAY FROM ME...

I hate to tell my clients that I can no longer deal for them ... :(

Gold

i stumbled upon gold... and basking on it right now :)

a new life

someone has given me a life so new i nv dreamt that i could have
someone showed me a way so different i nv tot that its possible
someone has managed to make it so simple i feel so dumb thinking it could be the rocket science unheard of
someone showed me the gift for giving and gave me the exclusive right to hold it close
someone has done so much so much ... i couldnt express how much.

happy :)

I’m so sorry that I’d been so complicated. But,

You did overwhelm me with acts of love I find it difficult to contain

I really can’t justify my inclusion in that part of the world where such accommodation exists

And would rather recite all reasons over and over,

Just to pluck myself out from wherever you want me to be

But I’m getting used to having you so different.

Thanks for the confidence.

It meant more than you know.

There are so much more than you know.

I wish to tell you one day.

brokeback mountain

Its been so long since I last fell in love.
I almost have forgotten how it feels like.
‘its nv enough’ brought it all back.
It has once brought me through the baptism of extreme pain in hell before a sneak peek into heaven and yet worth that almost eternal suffering. The high strung emotions firing every expressions of love and hate. I’d ever wished I could quit. I’d ever blamed someone for throwing me off my tracks. I’d ever hit and regret. I’d ever planned on forgetting abt the rest of the world.
I wan to go back there. Only when im there, I would be able to feel my heart beating and me living.

prev posts

Guess my previous posts would have made many uncomfortable. hee...fret not, cos im not in that bad a shape.

Currently, Im rather well protected by an invisible hand. I cant really see it but i know its there. I need help in improving my vision. I need to see things tat is real and not what i have imagined. I wanna help those I love, love me.

unrelated

An unrelated post to an unwanted soul:

There's a guide in life itself

It doesnt really matter whether you are there or not

e underlying

i dun seem to like a simple life very much.
i get so exhausted just searching for the ignition to jumpstart my day
i think tat my desire for volatility is indeed diabolical.
its destroying every opportunity i hav to build a long enuff rls w anyone and anything.
i dun seem to be able to relate
i feel so distant
no one seems to be able to touch me
no one seems to be interested
i feel so alone.

Im begining to feel tat no one would ever know tat i'd ever breathed

my gentle memphis

i saw myself in him yest. He was behaving in a way i wished i could have and would still be loved in return.

random behaviours.

sometimes i feel like a discipline master amongst a school of rebellious kids.
behaviours nowadays are just so out of wack, they instantly reminded me of e very random movements i saw on e tray of bacteria culture i'd created eons ago.
i realised its difficult for me to swallow disappointments or non-honouring of promises like they dun matter.
Not that it meant anything as yet. I just love to blow things out of proportion and imagine how i would react. In this unstable world of extremists, came wif it a gift from rocket scientists --- stress tests. I stress test, and beyond, all relations that would potentially mean anything to me to guage whether i have enough stakes to see me through if the ship i hopped onto hit an iceberg. Cos its really difficult to be on the same lifeboat wif another like pole. I need my very own float at least.

a happy note

i feel so happy, i feel its symbolic. i wanna write down every detail to aid my fleeting memory, but it has been so beyond description. i feel i didnt work hard for it, i feel so guilty. i wanna do something to actually deserve such a'natural high, but it has been so unconditional. it has fallen too nicely, its almost surreal. i have been trying to define it, to re-enact the exact erratic motion but everything was just too random. Guess,happiness swept me off my feet cos it came neatly on a silver platter, i feel its for only a king.

breakthrough

It was a day of a lot of calls, a lot of calls made for me to practice pitching. 'Play ball baby', jW always says. I guess the game has started and time for them to get stressed abt me squeezing more frm them. haha...

the rooster yr ended w me starting to roll. Mindless trades aside, a breakthrough is coming. I merely saw a glimpse and it already was more than rewarding. I found the angle from which i can approach the knot that has restricted me frm reaching higher. I cant wait to work out my new game plan and see what happens.

I found a comfortable spot. A big-hearted spot. A bright spot. Its too early to reach the level of resistance. But it did. Like SMM, its gonna be propelled to the next level. Undemanding valuations mixed with interests always work the magic.

Addicted to Greeks

When greeks meet the mkt, i found a combination so sexy, its hard to refuse.
Delta, Gamma, Theta, Vega, Rho rolled into hedges so mystical, its hard to stay un-inspired.
Being captivated by readings that tease ur brain beats having tat potential windfall on monday.
Some things are just not within the reach of the currency the world uses.

Strong week in 06

Reiterate a strong performing 06

Trading ended on friday w 2 sets of gdnews:

1) Ascott spinning ART*selling only 12 buildings and realised half its mkt cap* +0.34 for shareholders. IBs are really spin docs.
2) DMX placement to venture.

Not forgetting:
1) 100 Cland warrants
2) 10 SMM
3) 10 JT
4) 40 CSun

The mkt has been less than brutal, even with Japan's unprecedented massacre by Livedoor.
Csun & Cland did make my stomach flip several times. But all is well now... no, better than good.
The vols in the mkt makes my heart beat without knowing and its sat now. Good week.

Dogs of Babel

If Dogs can talk...
Often i wonder whether mikko and memphis think of me when im not ard.
And my wonders would certainly end with a YES!DUH!

If they can talk, they would say yes. But i prob would not believe half as much as to their muted voices in my heart. More often than not, its more effective to use my heart than my ears.

I must learn to use my heart right now to feel the ple ard me.

Saturday – Tuesday

I have been sick for four days, over the weekend and public holiday. Yap, I stood my fav days up. The fever, came courtesy of my bad throat, felt more like a long overdue rest forced upon me. I didn’t call for help at all and chose to plan my own route to recovery. Nice days…. Quiet and free… The only regret was not being in the mkt that was giving out new year ang baos earlier than expected.

Wednesday - Thursday

Went to work

I have been so good to meself . J

I took a break from drinks and smokes.

Check what I eat and make sure I get plenty of sleep.

I spent a considerable amt of time alone after work and really enjoyed it.

Friday

It was back to partying again.

06 has been kind so far. The celebrations have not been in vain. Everything seems to fall in place to pave the way for easier days. I cant wait for each moment to come.

A happy post

Mkt +40pts in 2 days, offers were lifted and so was my spirit. :) :) :)

However, it was hard working without my spirit after so many days of partying. All the clubbing had displaced me to a different time zone and left me flipping on my bed like a dying fish for freaking 4hrs!... still, i love my job toooo much to choose rest. Eh, isnt it like how i used to love my melody... :) :) :) ...cant stop smiling today.

I had a pleasant surprise from Boss today.
I guess my education pays me well.
I guess working hard pays me real well.
Most imptly, I guess serving right pays me really really really well.
Im so satisfied.

Investment

Someone says i think too much. I dun, though i always look as if i am. Most of the time, i am just stoning. Gamblers do not really think. We go by gut feel. N this is where the problem lie. We trade and ride along but would cut in an almost machine like manner that is difficult for many to stomach.

I'm not an investor at all. Most investors go in strong of inventories and statistics of earnings and all sorts of mathematical data, as though that meant facts and certainties. I can nv understand why is the human factor minimised when the mkt is all so human.

I guess someone was refering to me in relationships. Oh yah, rls. i wish im half as gutsy, one quarter as machine like and totally not count my odds.

To 06

Friday night at Loof was a blast. The ambience . the ple , the drinks, unrolled the red carpet for us to walk into 06 with glee... We went off, high on laughter. N the partying continued thereafter...

I couldnt drink enough to welcome the new year. It's plain, .. TO 06!!! For the record, the past year was shit.

To 06:
I promise to find myself back. I lost you for too long. I will love ur frens back, i will play with ur dogs back, i will read you back, i will run u back, i will earn u back.