Dogs of Babel

If Dogs can talk...
Often i wonder whether mikko and memphis think of me when im not ard.
And my wonders would certainly end with a YES!DUH!

If they can talk, they would say yes. But i prob would not believe half as much as to their muted voices in my heart. More often than not, its more effective to use my heart than my ears.

I must learn to use my heart right now to feel the ple ard me.

Saturday – Tuesday

I have been sick for four days, over the weekend and public holiday. Yap, I stood my fav days up. The fever, came courtesy of my bad throat, felt more like a long overdue rest forced upon me. I didn’t call for help at all and chose to plan my own route to recovery. Nice days…. Quiet and free… The only regret was not being in the mkt that was giving out new year ang baos earlier than expected.

Wednesday - Thursday

Went to work

I have been so good to meself . J

I took a break from drinks and smokes.

Check what I eat and make sure I get plenty of sleep.

I spent a considerable amt of time alone after work and really enjoyed it.

Friday

It was back to partying again.

06 has been kind so far. The celebrations have not been in vain. Everything seems to fall in place to pave the way for easier days. I cant wait for each moment to come.

A happy post

Mkt +40pts in 2 days, offers were lifted and so was my spirit. :) :) :)

However, it was hard working without my spirit after so many days of partying. All the clubbing had displaced me to a different time zone and left me flipping on my bed like a dying fish for freaking 4hrs!... still, i love my job toooo much to choose rest. Eh, isnt it like how i used to love my melody... :) :) :) ...cant stop smiling today.

I had a pleasant surprise from Boss today.
I guess my education pays me well.
I guess working hard pays me real well.
Most imptly, I guess serving right pays me really really really well.
Im so satisfied.

Investment

Someone says i think too much. I dun, though i always look as if i am. Most of the time, i am just stoning. Gamblers do not really think. We go by gut feel. N this is where the problem lie. We trade and ride along but would cut in an almost machine like manner that is difficult for many to stomach.

I'm not an investor at all. Most investors go in strong of inventories and statistics of earnings and all sorts of mathematical data, as though that meant facts and certainties. I can nv understand why is the human factor minimised when the mkt is all so human.

I guess someone was refering to me in relationships. Oh yah, rls. i wish im half as gutsy, one quarter as machine like and totally not count my odds.

To 06

Friday night at Loof was a blast. The ambience . the ple , the drinks, unrolled the red carpet for us to walk into 06 with glee... We went off, high on laughter. N the partying continued thereafter...

I couldnt drink enough to welcome the new year. It's plain, .. TO 06!!! For the record, the past year was shit.

To 06:
I promise to find myself back. I lost you for too long. I will love ur frens back, i will play with ur dogs back, i will read you back, i will run u back, i will earn u back.

Last Day of Trading

Shall end the last trading day on a cheesy yet heartfelt tune: ~~~

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who’ll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She’ll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She’ll hear me out
And won’t easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she’ll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

Aaaahhhhh....I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who’ll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detestI will almost like
I don’t want to be tied
To anyone’s strings
I’m carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I’m asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like thisI’ll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

christmas

Recently, i have been feeling so empty inside.
My life has became so stagnant.
I no longer can get high and happy on drinks.
Cigarettes have also failed to fill the vacuum.
Once again, i dunno what im writing.
I dun even know y i am depressed.

Im as lethargic as the mkt.
The mkt that has the few participants who are not worth mentioning.
Where is everyone?

Why would Christmas without fail, sucks air out of me and leaves me gasping for someone. Gets more harsh each year. For the love of God, i know why now. A lover is calling me and i chose to be alone. Brave huh. So i know,

Im have been real terrible deal negotiator at my own lifetable. Time to be the banker for once and steer the game to be one that i have lived and laughed and loved well.

back to basics

I received a temp replacement phone recently. It was indeed retro w its iconic single lined graphic against blue lights. I'd kinda enjoyed the simplicity of havg such phone. No doubt there were inconveniences, but it was easy to get ard. Missing it already.

It was prob e preview of a life tat's basic enough. Im too ahead of my time and surely missing out.

last drop of fluid

I have been trying to write something meaningful. At least something that can represent the loads of tots in my head.

I have been thinking so hard, my head hurts. My ability to dissect lumps into recognizable bits seems to have abandoned me.

Now, im entangled in my own tots, unable to break free. I just kept twirling, thinking that the ends would be nearer my hand. I tried so hard, just to find my own train of tots getting tighter and choking me breathless. The lack of air made me hallucinate a hell lot. Im finding it increasingly difficult to differentiate between what is real and not.

My neurons have just propelled me to pure imagination and left me there.

Someone save me please.

passed the week drunk.

How i dread 2005. 13 more days.

Dory

someone commented that i'm like dory. i couldnt understand it at first although nemo's fren did cross my mind. For the first time, im forgetful. I guess i'd tried too hard in wanting to forget abt the doldrums im in and i'd conveniently pulled the plug on my memory.

I like it this way. It sux to have an elephant memory. Pain stays longer than usual and happiness lingers as long to cloud the very lessons learnt. In the end, you are reduced to a helplessly hopeful pooch chasing your own tail and biting yourself.

I like this fren, i see the familiar fear in her. Im glad it can no longer hold me at gunpt.I wish she can walk away soon enough as well and look headon, the bruises with pride. I see her potential in being really happy one day and i wish that we together can feel that life is good finally.

a week of rest

It started with a mandatory leave and ended with much needed goodbyes.
I hate not building something as i get wash away by time. The last few days have been concrete and definitive in what we all consider as 'time flies'. It came, knocked me over and over and over , finally flew past me. Later did i know, it would not let me go. It dragged me along with a large part of me wanting to rest. I helplessly abraded against the cold hard uneven realities, with my eyes looking at nuthing but the depression created.

My thoughts are so random now and I wish that by typing them out in a box like this, it would settle and i would be able to piece them together in an orderly fashion so that i can understand what im thinking right now.

Goodbye to all fatigue and irregularities that have been clouding my supposedly clear mind.

clouds

My bars have been raised by an extreme force that is hard to come by.
And now, many would just walk under it with me losing sight of everything but the skies.
Its time to take a rest and i started to look at the clouds moving.
The more u look at the clouds, the faster they seem to be moving.
There was this particular one that i was unable to catch up with.
Before i know it, it had joined the other clouds.

I realise that my ability to focus has diminished to a level i have nv been before.
I cant seem to know what im thinking

December blues

Met an ex shool mate yesterday.

Time is strength in itself. It accumulates trust between you and the friendships found eons ago without you even knowing it. I always think that trust is a vulgarity in itself. It gifs u total freedom when u use it, but leaves u with an unbearable aftertaste when its lost. i find it very difficult to trust anyone. But to ple whom you know since they were wearing braces and tiny tees, trust comes so easy. Even when you hang out wif them less than 5 times a year.

I realised that it was easy to build trust then, when the plate we held out wasn't broken yet.

the PRL placement

A dearth of ideas and participants dominated the session, possibly into the end of the week on the back oh hols. STI edges abv psychological 2300s, supported by optimistic economic fundamentals.

PRL's placement at steep 11% threw us off our game plan. It was well absorbed and topped wif an exceedingly bullish comment. It flew off us, broke 1.5 resistance and ,not to mention, stayed above. grrr... Looks like history does not always repeat. (HYF, KST).

Dun look into my past.

im drunk

Im in a daze most of the time, floating along on troubled waters, hoping the drift would push me onshore.

My hands are tied and my situations deny me of the opportunities that i wish i could have in order to pursue what i want.

I just have to move bit by bit.

Identification of a float in the midst of choppy sessions

SGX: recent fee hike marks the first of the many earnings accretive measures in the pipeline as fee structure remains well below its illustrious peers. . Potential revamp of trading and settlement procedures as well as cross border shs listings will significantly boost turnover. Foresee gradual upward revision of earnings against its current PE of 20x vs ASX's 25x, HKSE 22.9x, Bursa's 27x. Technicals look poised to test above 2.76s prev high for higher 2.88 (21.3x PE) trend channel resistant.

Sin Telco

domestic mobile mkt tapering off with penetration rate of 98.7% and mkt share has stabilised at 1/3 each. Without many opportunities to drive rev expansion, telcos have to rely on optimising costs and others to drive growth. Expect telcos to stay rangebound with yield supporting downside and muted growth to cap upside. One major driver is if telco decides to gear up and pay out more dvd.

i can nv stay rangebound. i would get lethargic and the stochastics would slip. i constantly seek for new growth areas so that my life could be one that i can shout abt to potential investors. It has been tough recently. Unattractive valuation provided no support on the downside and coupled with a jittery mkt seeking direction, I can feel myself drifting lower.

Regional weakness dampens sentiments of the local bourse, leading to profit taking as players site excuses like US job numbers, Apple's downgrade, bird flu etc. The same bird singing the same tune and really wonder when the worms will wake up and realise that they are abt to miss the boat to land luxy.

U find the same bells everywhere with the exact melody heard 10 yrs ago. The way it started, the way it ended. The way it went with its glorious climax and the way it drifted to ears of unhappy listeners. There are a few exceptions though. They managed to tow out of line, stayed there, and jeer at the distinct 'noise' heard while standing at the sidewalks. I managed to capture one such jeer as i float along. I want very much to stay still as well. So that you can rest your throat and retire with me.

A very fast week

It was a week that passed so fast.

Was in TW for almost 5 days. Entertain Entertain Entertain. Clubs in TW are totally smashing. Beautiful ple, Fantastic music, Frenly Culture. The 5 days passed in a blur, leaving me with the love of the place still. I wished to go back there again, w a gf this time. :)

Went back to work on friday. Mkt undecided and gittery as usual. Held on to lower oil pxs to stay afloat. However, I was smiling the whole time. I think im in love.